Dating is complicated as it is, but if you add a chronic disease to your dating profile, it’ll suddenly get a lot more difficult. However, being HIV-positive doesn’t need to affect your love life. Just the stigma around this illness makes it hard for people to believe that HIV-positive doesn’t mean a death sentence.
The false information and all myths around this illness can make so difficult to date with HIV. Some people still believe the 1980’ rumors that HIV can be passed by kissing or from toilet seats.
However, almost 40 years passed since then, so people need to educate themselves and have a clear understanding of the disease. If a person who is HIV-positive take medication regularly, and the viral load in their blood is categorized as ‘undetectable’ then it’s impossible to pass the illness onto anyone.
The crucial thing is to accept the diagnosis and understand it’s treatable. After that, you need to start telling people you consider close. Choosing to share with your family and friends may be helpful since you won’t go through the whole process alone. When it comes to your potential partners, you don’t have a choice – you must tell them.
There isn’t an ideal approach to tell the person you want to have sex with that you’re diagnosed with HIV. You need to be prepared some people won’t be okay with that, no matter how gently you explain to them your condition.
We’re here to tell you that it’s okay. Everyone can reject you, whether the reason is your political opinion, how you drink your coffee or your HIV-positive status. Finding the special one is hard even if you weren’t diagnosed.
However, if someone rejects you strictly because of your HIV status, you need to respect his or her decision and try to move on. Don’t let their decision affect your confidence, and remember you’re more than your HIV status.
Someone will accept all of you. In this case, your partner must understand your condition completely. Work together and help them understand how the virus can be transmitted; help them learn.
Finding the right words for telling the special person that you have been diagnosed with HIV can be difficult. You should keep things as simple as possible and give as much information as you want.
No matter how understanding they are, you’ll get follow-up questions. They’ll probably ask you ‘Who passed it to you?’ It’s up to you how much information you want to disclose. You don’t owe anyone your complete medical history.
And don’t think of apologizing for the condition of your sexual health. If you act or feel it’s your fault, you’ll just reinforce the stigma around the illness. Relax and think about how many diagnosed people have found their happiness.
You can disclose your HIV status in two ways – before or after the kiss. If you choose the first approach, you need to tell your potential partner before you go out on a date. He/she will have time to process the information and if they choose to go out with you, then you’ll be on the clear. However, with this approach, the chances for rejection are higher since they’ll face a roadblock before getting to know you.
If you choose to tell the potential partner after a few dates, then you’ll get the chance to see if there’s a spark between you. They’ll get to know you before learning about your medical history. However, many people may feel deceived by this approach.
Listen to your gut and do what feels right since there is not an ideal approach. How things will go, depend mostly on the other person.
It’s crucial to have protected sex even if you’re handling the condition successfully. The safe sex will protect your partner from the virus, but it also keeps you from getting any other infections.
When HIV positive, dating life becomes more difficult but it doesn’t have to be over.